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venom and vitriol
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okay, so i'm now slim_frame. I guess I just got tired of this account...i'm odd. moop.

if you want to still be on my friends list, add me on that account; i'll delete this account in a couple weeks or so...boom.

Current Mood: hothot

so all of a sudden i have this bizarre sore throat thing. it's scritchy and unpleasant and is not going to prom with me.

o the other hand, i bought the sexiest boots EVAR. pictars to come soon.

92 lbs and holding...holding...holding...

also, a post from yesterday that i didn't get around to posting:

"so the rolling stones are coming to town and it seems as though everyone but me gets to see them. GRAR! well, at least KLBJ is playing nothing but the stones today, so i can kind of get my fix...i wonder if i should bring my walkman to work and try to sneak listening to it while i shelve books :3

anywho, on to the main point of my post...it's saturday, which is usually the day i treat myself to a light caramel frap if i've either done well for the week or had an exceedingly stressful week (either way, i get my treat, bwahahahaaaa...i am such a cheater.) well, this week was STRESSFUL. my ma got into a car wreck (after having a stroke which no one told me about because they're all wigged that i'll blow my recovery status...i'm trying to stay in the 90s which, for me, constitutes recovery...shaddup, it works for me...and i'm 5'1", so it's a "healthy" weight range for me), the man who dumped me is coming calling (soooo hard to resist, even though I know he's using me), and yesterday i got my car impounded and it cost TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS to free my poor baby. eeyuch. so anyways, i go to the sbx and i see this mystical green tea frap...and it sounds delightful and i think 'oh, that can't have too many more cals in it!', so i get that instead. they put freaking whipped cream on it because i forget that sbx is the devil and you have to tell them NOT to put it on, as opposed to all the places i've worked at, where you have to ask them to put it on...and as soon as i tasted it, i was in love...and was terrified because it just tastes full of sugar. so i went home and looked it up, and sure enough, a grande has almost 400 cals in it! FIVE HUNDRED FIFTY with whipped cream. but i didn't eat the whipped cream because it grosses me out megabad. but still. augh. sooooo many cals for one thing to have in it. i generally eat 8 or 9 100 to 200 cal meals in a day...i'm trying to maintain a 'healthy' weight and just learn to like it, so i strive to get at least 1600 cals in a day...but it still wigs me out to eat more than 200 cals in a sitting. bleh. so i feel like purging, but i know it would be retarded to do so...but it's still really hard not to, y'know? augh...my head is so stupid.

being at this weight makes me wanna retch. i hate it when people say 'oh, you look so healthy!' or 'you look so much better than you used to!' because to me it's as if they're saying 'oh, you look like an average overweight american now! yay!' or 'awesome, now i don't have to be jealous of you anymore because you're just as fat as me!' eh, i'm broken in my brainplace. recovery is hard and i don't like it...i'm working with two drs to try and reroute my messed up thought processes...but sometimes its just too hard and i want to do what i'm used to doing because there's a sense triumph (for me) when i can control my body. i hate not having control over things...i dunno...it makes me feel special, too, to be able to get to really really low weights and not be overcome by hunger or weakness. MLEH!"


and there's this megacute boy that i think likes me. he's megacute and kissed my head yesterday. and he looks like a cowboy and i love him a little. the end :D

Current Mood: bouncybouncy

so i finally got a gym membership! my computer is still broken (I'm typing this on a library computer), but gym memberships rock my face off, so i'm happy for the nonce.

just a quick update...

Current Mood: bouncybouncy

so my comp's been ravaged by viruses and now runs stupid slow.

which means i don't update that much anymore and/or check my friends' pages because i don't feel like waiting eight hundred years for things to load.

hopefully i'll scrape up enough cash to get it fixed soon...

i miss my intarweb ;(

Current Mood: weirdweird
Current Music: collective dreamwish of upperclass elegance :: grandaddy

Due to personal concerns, this journal will be friends only. Hey, don't throw a bitch-fit...comment if you would like to (for some strange reason) be added. Oh, and it would be nice if a reason was given. Otherwise, why in the hell should I add you, eh?

XOXO - poison mouth

PS - Add me first.
PPS - Update your journal every now and again. I have no use for people that aren't active.

Current Mood: apatheticapathetic
Current Music: Judas Priest :: In Between
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